8:58 p.m. - Wednesday, Oct. 07, 2009
My statement
It’s funny how you are so quick to get mad at everyone around you when they aren’t able to help or give an answer fast. Especially when you don’t help anyone. I thought that when you were in jail the last time. That you would reflect on yourself. How you treat people…especially me. How you run through money like its no big deal, but yet your quick to judge me when I have no money because I actually 100% take care of our daughter. I buy her everything and anything she needs and along the way I try to take care of some of her wants when I can afford it. Otherwise I’m busy paying MY bills….buying groceries to feed OUR child….paying for childcare….paying for gas so I can go to work. But that doesn’t matter and it seems to go in one ear and out the other.
Also, I am tired of you treating me like I’m at fault for every little fucking thing. Get over yourself…seriously. You still get angered over the emails you found to a couple of guys a couple of years ago. Seriously….come on now. I’m sorry for the things I said. But I’m done apologizing. What happened to you? Do you want me to go down a list of everything you have done and said? How about when you took off when I was pregnant and emotional and had spent the night with two girls whom I had no clue about?? And heard you talking shit about me over the phone. Or how about when it was the night before my baby shower and once again….you were out all night…drinking it up….while I was a mess. Then even proceeded to treat me like shit on MY special fucking day. Or how about when you were secretly talking to other girls on the phone and calling MY house???? Does none of this matter? Do you think that I didn’t hurt over it??? I was definitely hurt…but I’m over it and could careless….even though I’m almost positive you still do it. I’m almost positive that you cheat on me. But I don’t give a shit. It means nothing to me…..because you wanted me to not care. I came to you time and time again wanting to talk especially about us. You would always say…find someone to talk to….find another guy to talk to. But when you found those emails….it didn’t feel so good did it??? I never fucking cheated on you. Even though I probably am stupid not to. It’s just not who I am. I don’t give a fuck what you say. You call me every name you can think of….try to make me feel like shit…so I’ll have it in my head that no one else would ever want me…..guess what asshole…..been there done that. I feel good about who I am. I know that I can get someone else if I wanted. I know that I am a good person. So quit your fucking shit and shut your mouth. You treat me with no respect and don’t even care if your daughter hears it. Again…you need to shut the hell up. You want your daughter to think that its okay for a guy to talk or treat her like you do to me.???? I don’t think so. So stop.
I’m tired of you always being depressed and wanting everyone else but yourself to bail you out when you can’t make it. Who bails me out??? No one….you don’t fucking help me. So grow the fuck up. You are 31!!!!!! Not 17!!!! You bring everything around you down. There were so many times we could have gotten out of our situation…..but you always found away to knock us down. Every time we talk…..it’s always a feel bad for me story…..come on…..do you realize that everything is about you??? There is only one person on this earth you care about it and that is yourself. I’m tired of hearing your excuses. I’m tired of you quitting your jobs or getting fired because you didn’t like that job. Guess what….it’s a fucking job…it brings in money….so shut up and deal with it. I don’t like my job either but guess what it pays the bills and takes care of me n our daughter. Someday, I will find a better job. But I will never leave this one until I do. Because I am a responsible adult. I’m so tired of everything. You care about what everyone thinks…you care only of yourself. So why do you pretend to want us??? It’s funny how we have been together for 5-6 years….and I have yet to meet your friends. See I have met your family….that I thought was a big deal. But I know your friends are an even bigger deal. But as you stated that last time we talked….I will never meet your friends. And that was when it became clear to me.
